HERE & NOW

I still haven't decided where to begin. I'm not feeling like I can possibly tell my endo story in chronological order. I'm gonna have to jump all around. If I'm going to do that, I might as well start with right now.

My current status is weirdly-wide-awake & feeling the pain. I'm bleeding & bleeding. I have a recurring thought involving some dumb "joke" a boy told me a long time ago...never trust something that bleeds for days but never dies. HA HA, boy that is fucking hilarious. I might find the humor too, if my stomach didn't feel like it will inevitably & surely explode.

Even wrapped in my coziest of blankets, with my trusty fuzzy hoodie & hilarious shoe slippers, getting comfortable when in this much pain just ain't possible.

How did I get here? Wouldn't I like to know? Wouldn't I like ANYONE to know, so they could explain it to me? I don't know, yes and yes.
(Don't worry, I'm not a big fan of the question talking, so I won't often use this tactic. Do I think that talking in questions just unnecessarily prolongs what you are trying to say? Do I wish you would stop asking yourself questions, while I just sit here & quietly observe you having a long-winded conversation with yourself? Yes and yes). Anyway, as I tend to do, I digress.

I have been out of the hospital for two weeks today. I also started treatment with Zoladex two weeks ago today. I'm a-wishin' & a-hopin' & a-prayin' that this shit is gonna help...tremendously. But I will get into all that later.

Here & Now, I am suffering through my endo, experiencing some delirium-like state due to lack of sleep. And I'm gonna go try to get some much needed sleep. This sleeplessness is a side effect of the Zoladex, but again, I will get into all that later.

Hope you can get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzs.