Friday, September 24, 2010

I'm delighted to be attending a writer's conference tomorrow. It's my first one.

This blog and you, my friendos, have been an essential piece of my healing, growth and sanity. And humor preservation.

I've always loved to write. When I was young, usually just my Grandma Rosemary read my stories. Writing for a blog is such a unique form of expression. My meager words can reach across the planet, instantly. I'm still amazed by that. (And worried, because no one loves & appreciates me like my Grandma did).

My question for you, fellow endo blogger, is this. How do you define yourself...a writer who happens to have endo, a blogger who writes about endo, an endo sister who blogs? Or none of the above?


Sunday, September 19, 2010

My wicked itch has improved, so I've downgraded my condition to, The Itchy and Scratchy Show. Hopefully, like a brief spot on a Simpsons episode, I will chuckle & the show quickly will move on. And I'll forget all about it because so many other funny things have happened in-between.

I guess that's why I still proudly proclaim my love for the Simpsons, even after all these years. No matter what my mood, Homer can always, always make me laugh. I was wishing the new season started tonight, but it looks like I'll have to wait one more week.

 one of my all-time fave t-shirts


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My first day home after my amazing vacation, I started to feel the burning symptoms of a yeast infection. Nothing like a yeast invasion to burst your bubble, huh? Wow, did my soaring bubble deflate fast.

This is the fourth occurrence ever for me. I count myself lucky, considering how many women suffer repeat infections. I have a friendo who is her mid-30s who has never had one. Most women are shocked when she states this fact, as they cringe at the memory of theirs.

That first morning, I started out with a homeopathic remedy, including vaginal suppositories & external cream. I tried this for three days. Though it was a seven day supply, by the third day, I was losing my mind & had to try something else (anything else!). So I bought a one-day Monistat pack, including wipes, external cream & suppository. The external cream exacerbated the itchy (my crotch is on fire!) torture. I had to resign to seeing a doctor. But since it was Sunday, I would have to wait one more day. (aahhh!).

My friendo (the never-had-a-yeast-infection and fellow EndoSister) had called me on Saturday to ask if I wanted to hike with her Sunday morning. I revealed my inconvenient, unbearable situation & told her that my vagina may not want to cooperate with her plan. She quickly responded, "well...you tell your vagina that it has ruled this roost for too long & it's time for her to be nice or you are going to start using tampons again." I laughed so hard I thought I'd stop breathing. And Sunday morning, despite the pain, I sucked it up & took a hike with her. I spent that night tossing in agitation, barely sleeping at all.

In the morning, my condition was much worse. My husband called from work to relay some information about banking or bills or something important to me & I had to stop him mid-sentence & say, "Baby, I'm not going to remember anything you are saying. All my brain can think about is how horrific my vaj feels right now. Let's talk about this later, ok?" He was sweet & tried to empathize. Feeling sorry for myself, I spouted something about how I was being punished for having so much fun last week & my loud declaration (& blog post) about how terrific I was feeling. I thanked him & quickly hung up the phone, sparing him anymore of my ranting.

As fate would have it, I then listened to my cell messages & discovered I had a long-ago-scheduled appointment for today (Monday) with my previous OBGYN, that I had totally forgotten about. It feels like a lifetime has occurred since the last time I saw this doctor. She's the one who referred me to dr #2 for my endometriosis. I had been thinking about the importance of contacting this doctor to explain that dr #2 should not be receiving referrals as an endo surgeon/specialist, based on my experiences. And more importantly, who she should/could be sending patients to see for help. The opportunity presented itself to have this conversation, courtesy of my wicked yeast infection. So I took it.

The doctor listened to the abbreviated version of the last nine months of my endo story. (As my brain shouted, vagina is burning!!! Make it stop!) She expressed empathy through it all. I raved about my new doctor (dr #3) & his knowledge & skills as an endo surgeon. I hope & pray she remembers my story the next time she needs to make a referral for a case like mine.

Hence, even my yeast infection has a silver lining.

I suffered through the brief (felt-like-hours) exam. The last thing my vagina wanted was to be poked & prodded. This is always true, but especially in this irritated state. She decided it was safe to say it was a yeast infection & prescribed an oral dose of Diflucan. I had never taken a pill to treat my previous ones, so this was a surprise. I kicked myself for waiting four days to get checked out & find relief.

Twelve hours after taking the one Diflucan (aka Fluconazole) pill, I was already feeling somewhat better. I can actually think about something besides a scorching vagina. So I feel like I'm heading in the right direction on the (yellow brick) road to recovery.

Ding dong, can't wait till this wicked itch is dead!


Monday, September 13, 2010

Before my last surgery, my neighbors brought me this cheery arrangement combined of flowers from both of our yards.
lively, colorful, vibrant

Five days later, I related to the droopy arrangement. It was six days until my surgery and my listless body mirrored the faded peony. Limp and hunched over in pain, I saw my reflection in the withering flowers. My vitality draining...slowly away.
weary, pale, arid

Below I'm captured, beaming, two weeks before my wedding day.
July 31, 2009

Eleven months later, agonizing, the evening before my surgery (after almost five months of unending, excruciating pain).
June 8, 2010

I waited until the brittle petals fell, then gently placed the frail arrangement to rest in our woods.

(A stirring song by a fave musician, Ben Harper, kept coming to mind while I wrote this post. So I'll share that too.) 

Roses from my Friends


Thursday, September 9, 2010

I am ecstatic to share this post with you friendos!

Exactly three months ago I was undergoing a robotic laparoscopy, facing serious risks and fears. Just three months later, on Labor Day, I crossed an exhilarating feat off my bucket list...I flew!

When I was in the depths of my endo pain, I could barely walk up the stairs. Some days I couldn't get out of my bed because the pain was so severe. If someone would have told me in June that I would be feeling marvelous by the beginning of September, there is no way I would have believed them.

4 days post-surgery

I spent the past week staying with my best friend on an island in the Great Lakes. I decided to take advantage of not having a job & take a relaxing, rejuvenating getaway to celebrate my birthday. (Okay, I admit it. My girlfriends & I love to celebrate our birthweek or sometimes birthmonth to extend the fun!) Two years ago for my birthday, my bff bought me a parasailing gift certificate. I tried to go last year, but the weather didn't cooperate. Now I know why; I was meant to fly in celebration of healing.

I started off small. On Sunday, I had some fun jumping on her trampoline. Bouncing instantly makes me smile. It brings out the silly child in me.


The next day my childhood wish came true. I flew through the air like a bird. I spoke & sung to God, thanking him for all of my blessings & answered prayers. I cannot describe the peacefulness & awe. It was truly magical.

 taking flight into the gorgeous sky

(Peter Pan was right) I can fly!
flapping my wings & soaring

I felt like a butterfly, emerging from her cramped cocoon to embrace her new, wondrous life.

There is hope. God is listening. I am walking, laughing, flying proof. I went from bedridden to gliding in the sky in just three months.

I know my battle with endo will continue, but days like these sure make the fight worth fighting.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I'm having a fantabulous, beauty-full birthday! I've spent the last few days with my inspiring best friend, hanging out on her island in the lake. She's busy in the kitchen creating an amazing autumn-infused birthday dinner. It includes a finale of homemade carrot cake & cream cheese icing.

Yesterday, I crossed an exhilarating item off my bucket list. (Post to come friendos!)

Praise God, what a glorious day! I'm off to enjoy my feast.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

I just received the notification that the redetermination unit of unemployment sided with me!


The company (jerks) claimed that I had no intention of returning to work as their reason to appeal my benefits. Really?? Then why did I provide you with documentation from my doctor's office with a return to work date? (Also, it's hard to return to work when you get fired!)

Maybe they appeal all requests for unemployment, I really don't know. All I know is that I can finally never, ever have to deal with this shady company again. Yay!

Thanks to everyone for rooting for me. I'm off to celebrate!


Saturday, September 4, 2010


My hot flashes are still coming on strong. I experience them all throughout the day & night. They are so bizarre. One second, everything is fine...next second, I'm on fire. The heat radiates from the inside of my body & my skin pricks out (zillions of) tiny sweat beads. My forehead instanteously creates a puddle. I pant because I feel like I can't breathe. 

I've got thick hair & it was driving my neck crazy during these episodes. The day I decided that my hair needed to go, I was ready to just shave my head. If I could have found some clippers before that hot flash faded, I'd likely be writing about my bald head right now. I was ecstatic when I was able to get a hair appointment that day. (Thanks Amy!). I've almost always had long or longish hair. I gotta tell you, I am loving my short, sassy locks! And my neck is sooooo grateful.