Hey Friendos! I have many post drafts I have been working on for the past few months. I still want to share these posts, even if some of them are no longer current. Here is the first one. So don't be confused, I am still improving & feeling better.
How are you? A simple enough question, right? It used to be. Lately, I have been having trouble answering this question.
When people close to me ask me how I am & they really want to know, that question is getting harder to answer. I am trying to remain positive, but the truthful answer to this question is not positive. It's quite depressing really. I don't want to be Debbie Downer. I certainly don't want them to think they have to endure lengthy medical discussions in order to have a conversation with me.
The best answer I have found so far is, I'm the same. It's a simple answer & I can be truthful without delving into all the ugly details.
When things got bad, I initially retreated into hermit mode. I didn't call my friends or my family. I felt like I had nothing positive to say, so I didn't want to talk to anyone. I'm a talker, so this isn't normal behavior for me. I started to slip into a lonely depression & it would have been easy to plummet to the bottom of that hole. Luckily, I recognized what was happening & consciously pulled myself up. I tend to go into hiding during my period, when I'm at my worst. Who doesn't want to be home when they're ill? That worked fine for me when my worst wasn't every day. I had to develop new strategies & fast.
The main new coping mechanism was starting this blog. It gives me a place to voice everything I'm feeling. If someone is interested in all these details, then they can read this blog. Since they are reading it voluntarily, I don't feel guilty for expressing the truth of my condition. It's brilliant.
I sincerely appreciate anyone taking the time to ask me how I am. So please don't take this as complaining. I am very aware how blessed I am to have people who truly care how I am.
I hope the day comes when this is an easy question to answer again. I can't wait to tell everyone that I am good & mean it!