DECISIONS, DECISIONS

So many decisions! I am left guessing & hoping that I am making the best ones. I have been looking for a doctor who is experienced in treating severe cases of endometriosis. But guess what? There really aren't Endometriosis Specialists. How is this possible, when so many women suffer from this disease? This is crazy! If I am having issues with my foot for example, all I have to do is look in my provider directory, and wahlah, a list for podiatry. When it comes to endo, you have to roll the dice and hope the OB/GYN you find has the necessary knowledge and experience to treat you correctly. I desperately need a new doctor who will help me.

The first OB/GYN who diagnosed my endo did not have this experience. She performed a laparoscopy to remove an ovarian cyst, and she found the extensive endo. She did not remove the cyst or any of the endo, she did absolutely nothing. She quickly told my husband in the waiting room that I was a mess inside and that she couldn't do anything to help me. How terrible is that?! The sad thing is, I have since had two people recommend her as a good doctor for endo. And one of them was a doctor! Luckily I already know better. But what about the women who don't?

I have been reaching out to other friends with endo and asking for recommendations. I have it narrowed down to two possibilities. A doctor in Akron who helped my friend who had similar issues. Or the Cleveland Clinic doctor who is the expert in endo related surgery, discovered by another friend who works there. I am praying that one of them will help end my pain and suffering. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And checking one decision off of my list.

HERE & NOW

I still haven't decided where to begin. I'm not feeling like I can possibly tell my endo story in chronological order. I'm gonna have to jump all around. If I'm going to do that, I might as well start with right now.

My current status is weirdly-wide-awake & feeling the pain. I'm bleeding & bleeding. I have a recurring thought involving some dumb "joke" a boy told me a long time ago...never trust something that bleeds for days but never dies. HA HA, boy that is fucking hilarious. I might find the humor too, if my stomach didn't feel like it will inevitably & surely explode.

Even wrapped in my coziest of blankets, with my trusty fuzzy hoodie & hilarious shoe slippers, getting comfortable when in this much pain just ain't possible.

How did I get here? Wouldn't I like to know? Wouldn't I like ANYONE to know, so they could explain it to me? I don't know, yes and yes.
(Don't worry, I'm not a big fan of the question talking, so I won't often use this tactic. Do I think that talking in questions just unnecessarily prolongs what you are trying to say? Do I wish you would stop asking yourself questions, while I just sit here & quietly observe you having a long-winded conversation with yourself? Yes and yes). Anyway, as I tend to do, I digress.

I have been out of the hospital for two weeks today. I also started treatment with Zoladex two weeks ago today. I'm a-wishin' & a-hopin' & a-prayin' that this shit is gonna help...tremendously. But I will get into all that later.

Here & Now, I am suffering through my endo, experiencing some delirium-like state due to lack of sleep. And I'm gonna go try to get some much needed sleep. This sleeplessness is a side effect of the Zoladex, but again, I will get into all that later.

Hope you can get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzs.

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?

If you are reading this, then I am beyond ecstatic you are reading my first ever blog post! Wow.

I am seeking any way I can imagine to live with Endometriosis in positive energy, hope & light. And with silly, sarcastic humor. Mostly, I don't want to stop laughing every day. Not ever, for any reason.

Since you are so nice to stop by & read my (carefully or not-so-carefully chosen) words, I hope I can repay you, my old or new Friend, with some variety of a laugh, giggle, or chuckle. If your laugh happens to uncontrollably morph into a snort, well, then I'm gonna call that a fantastic day!

But realistically there are going to be days that, despite my best efforts, this shit is just not funny. So I will also share knowledge, facts, links, resources, truths & stories. Really anything helpful I can get my eyes or hands on. I hope you will follow my blog & share your comments & wisdom. And sometimes leave me with a giggle-turned-snort of my own.

Too many women suffer with numerous, sometimes debilitating & crazy-scary, symptoms of this disease. I plan & pray to see the day we find a cure & are forever Done with Endo. But I am smart enough to know I can't do it alone, we have to ban together as one to End Endo.

Thanks for your time, I hope you come back.

Your Friendo in Endo
Jenn (since it rhymes, I will also answer to Jenndo)